05 October 2007

Dude You Rock!!! No Dude, You Suck!!!

This website currently contains over 150 pages and is continuing to grow. It is quite possible that there are pages here that no one will ever check out (like this one), but they are here just the same. There are, however, two pages you will never see on the Empire; a guestbook and a customer feedback page. Here's why.

While I would probably hear from more people if they could leave a message in a guestbook instead of having to send me an email, because some folks might not want to start a conversation and others might be apprehensive about their email address ending up in the hands of a weirdo with a website about turtles. No doubt, I would undoubtedly also hear more from the poo jabbers of cyberspace. A certain breed of  turd spelunker loves to wipe their stink on guestbooks, be it retarded opinions or links to websites with popups and viruses. Their hope is that it will take some time before their fecal leavings are noticed and removed. In the meantime their nonsense is on display for all to see and, to add insult to injury, on my dime. I'm just not interested in having to patrol a guestbook and I don't have time to joust with tools. There is turtle work to do and enemies to crush (as always I am looking for henchmen - see below).

I do like to get email from visitors to my site and I have met a few interesting people this way. I always like to hear that someone found something on this site useful. Most mail I get is positive, occasionally some is critical and I find these useful too. I save the positive ones in a file until the day when there are enough that I can spread them out and roll around in them naked. The negative ones get printed out on the most absorbent paper I can find and suffer a far worse fate.

I will never create a customer feedback page because I think they are useless. First, there is no way for site visitors to  be sure that any positive feedback is even real. Many feedback sections read like the internet equivalent of  Penthouse Forum. I mean in regards to their believability not in their sexual content. Not to say that plenty of people aren't being screwed via online stores. Second, does anyone think that negative feedback is going to end up on there? Of course it isn't. Only the most glowing sphincter lathering praise is going to be posted. So since a feedback page is of no real use to the site visitor the only reason I can see to have a feedback page at all is to say LOOK AT ME. And frankly, this whole website is a giant LOOK AT ME. Any more would just be gratuitous. Visitors will just have to form an opinion of me and my website on their own without it being colored by the filtered input of others.

For unfiltered input on me and any reptile person you think of doing business with check out the Board Of Inquiry (BOI) on Fauna Classifieds and "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" on Turtleforum.com.